Highlights from 2024: A Curated Collection of our Favorite Episodes

Discover the highlights of 2024 with a thoughtfully curated collection of episodes featuring LifeStance Health mental health professionals. Dive into insightful discussions on topics including ADHD, trauma, eating disorders, narcissistic relationships, and burnout. Gain a deeper understanding of living with ADHD and harnessing its unique strengths, uncover the connection between trauma, eating habits, and body image, recognize the patterns of narcissistic abuse, and discover actionable strategies to overcome burnout.

Speaker 1:

Welcome to Convos from the Couch by LifeStance Health, where leading mental health professionals help guide you on your journey to a healthier, more fulfilling life.

Speaker 2:

And so sometimes I think people with ADHD are trying to fit into the average world. And we’re not in that box, we’re very much outside of the box. And so a lot of times we’ve just fell short of other people’s, maybe expectations. Maybe in school, people haven’t been able to accomplish things academically. Or in relationships or work, always just feeling like, “Why can’t I get it together?” And so it’s a struggle, because you’re not in the box, you’re very much outside of the box. So I always encourage people with ADHD that it’s not about trying harder, it’s about knowing your area of impact and accounting for that. And also, embracing the wonderful things. Because people with ADHD are often very intelligent, very creative, very hardworking. And so it’s not a matter of just, “Oh, you need to try harder.”

Speaker 3:

Transcranial magnetic stimulation is TMS. And that simply means going through the skin and through the skull into the brain tissue about a centimeter or a centimeter and a half, not very deep at all. And we use magnetic pulsing. TM is magnetic and S is stimulation. And it goes in a very rapid sequence of magnetic pulses that go into the brain tissue, and activate those neurons that are in that outer part of this front part of your brain, that we think are underactive to some degree in people who are depressed. So what we’re doing, if you can remember in school or if you can remember with one of your kids, if you take a nail and you wrap a wire around it and you hook it up to a battery, you make a magnet.

So that’s basically what we do. We have a coil that has wire in it. The electricity runs through the coil, not into your brain at all, and we turn it on and off very rapidly. And each time it turns on and off, it shoots out a little pulse of magnetic energy that goes through your skin and into your skull and into your brain tissue. And if you do that repetitively for 15 to 18 minutes, depending on the treatment, some a little bit longer, 20 minutes, you actually begin to activate those neurons. And over a period of time, which means three, four weeks, just like with a medication, you can actually begin to see a change in your mood.

Speaker 4:

Another big factor that I feel like is not maybe addressed as much, is how past trauma or current trauma in someone’s life can really impact their eating habits, their relationship with their body and food, and therefore, aid them in developing an eating disorder.

Speaker 5:

So let’s jump into that. So what are some of those links or intersections between eating disorders and trauma?

Speaker 4:

Absolutely. It’s just been fascinating to really observe and work with the clients that have had the link between trauma and eating disorders. So I’m going to break it down a little bit. And we’ll start with physical trauma. And I guess I’ll link both physical and sexual trauma together, that you can argue both involve abuse or violation in the body, to the body. So with that, that can lead to a break of trust, that one feels in their body. They might feel, that this happens in this body. And so because of that, “I no longer feel safe. I no longer feel like I trust my body. I no longer want to be in this body.”

Speaker 5:

I was going to say, wanted to be in the body. Yeah.

Speaker 4:

Yes. “Because when I have been, that trauma happened.” And we are learning as clinicians how powerful that mind and body link is. And so also being in your body can just bring up those trauma feelings.

Speaker 5:

Right.

Speaker 4:

So it’s almost like you are re-experiencing that. So those are the main things, the physical, sexual trauma. Another I would say, beliefs that I’ve seen some folks develop, especially maybe with the sexual trauma, is that if they are smaller, then they won’t get hurt.

Speaker 5:

Oh, yeah.

Speaker 4:

So they develop the link of, “Okay, I got hurt because I was more visible. And so to be protected, I need to feel more invisible.” That obviously plays a role in them wanting to change their body, but also just how they feel about themselves in general.

Speaker 5:

Yeah.

Speaker 4:

Like they want to hide and shrink [inaudible 00:05:24].

Speaker 5:

“I don’t want to take up any space.”

Speaker 4:

Yes, absolutely. So it’s the literal and figurative meaning of it as well.

Speaker 5:

What are some common signs or red flags that someone may be in a relationship with a narcissistic abuser?

Speaker 6:

So some common signs are, when we think about the narcissistic relationship, there’s a cycle. The first cycle is idolization or love bombing. The next one, is devaluation and the final is discard. So going back to that love bombing phase, the idolization, that person is going to move things really fast moving. So it’s going to pick up speed, and it’s going to be calling every day, wanting to see you often. Something that’s really common occurrence is what we call text bombardment, good morning texts, good evening texts, wanting to know what you need, where you are.

The danger in that is a person doesn’t always realize that this attention and this caring is really coercive control. It’s really them trying to gain access to your world and study you. Now, another element, another key characteristic, is this person is going to know everything about you. They’re going to want to meet your mom and your friends, and they’re going to want to know everything about you. They’re going to be studying you for vulnerabilities. And in the love bombing stage, and this is where we think about, in society we’re brought up with the fairy tale, the rom-com, where everything is your soulmate, and it’s intense. And there’s this saying that’s out there and it’s, “People really are looking for fireworks and not a fireplace.”

Speaker 5:

Ooh, right. Gosh, great quote there. Yeah.

Speaker 6:

So love bombing is essentially, the fireworks. You’re getting caught up in this fantasy. And this person, it might be fun trips and adventures and romantic meals out. It could be talking for hours and hours on the phone, but again, really fast moving.

Speaker 5:

So that’s one of the key things to look for, is just how quickly it’s moving. Oh, intense. Yeah, good word for it for sure.

Now, if I’m somebody already experiencing burnout, what advice would you give me?

Speaker 7:

Yeah, so burnout and stress are different, right? Stress feels like, “I have too much going on. I have too much on my plate.” You hear that often. Burnout feels like, “I have nothing left to give.” So it happens when you experience stress for a prolonged amount of time. And that’s why it can sneak up on people sometimes, because it’s been going on for so long that you didn’t realize it was wearing on you so much. So it’s important to know the symptoms of burnout and be aware, so that you can catch it. And if you’re already feeling burnout, there are some things that you can do to come back from it quicker. So be honest with yourself, have you been taking on too much? Make sure you talk to a mentor, your boss or a trusted friend. Counseling and therapy, of course, are always great options. You want to talk to somebody, get those feelings out and thoughts out of your head into the world and examine them. And then form social connections. So a lot of times when we experience burnout, we actually withdraw from socializing.

Speaker 5:

Yeah.

Speaker 7:

We don’t want to spend time with people, but we need to do the opposite. We actually need to seek out that community. So go out with friends, family, people that you enjoy their company. Or join a community group or a hobby group, so maybe a sports team or something that gets you out there with other people. You can even socialize with coworkers. So go out there and talk to people and then prioritize self-care. Self-care is not all about massages and face masks, although those are great too. But self-care can look like taking effective breaks during your workday, practicing healthy sleep habits, exercising, even though you don’t feel like it, eating healthy food, even though you feel like you want to grab the ice cream. Studies have shown that also planning vacations, the planning process is actually more effective in helping with mental health and stress than actually going on the vacation.

Speaker 5:

Isn’t that interesting?

Speaker 7:

Yeah. So maybe daydream and start planning your next trip. Those are all things or whatever you identify as good self-care for yourself. You want to make sure that you prioritize that. And then also getting to the root of your burnout. What’s the cause? What do you think has been causing that? Or if you’ve been taking on too much at work, make sure you have a conversation with your manager. Practice good boundary setting at work and in your personal life. And then the fastest way to also lift your spirits, is to remember gratitude. So what are things that you can be grateful for in your life right now? So focusing on the positive. Make a list of things that you’re thankful for and refer to it often, add to it often. And those are steps that you can take to help.

Speaker 2:

But some of the things that I use with my clients and encourage my, for the providers that I support here in Utah to use, are establishing a routine. So encouraging regular daily schedule can provide structure and reduce stress in our lives, something as simple as that. I say simple, but not easy. Might be simple to create a schedule, but not always easy to follow it.

Speaker 5:

That’s it.

Speaker 2:

Mindfulness and relaxation techniques are a huge part of this. Now, how they look can be tailored to someone who’s really into mindfulness or someone who, “I’m not into that.” Mindfulness can literally just look like, “I’m checking in with myself.”

Speaker 5:

Right, right.

Speaker 2:

And it doesn’t have to look like anything to anyone else. But it could be practicing deep breathing, meditation, even progressive muscle relaxation, where I’m tightening parts of my body and releasing, which we naturally do when we’re stressed. So if I’ve just become aware of that, it can actually even turn into a relaxation technique for me. And then physical activity is a huge part of this. So regular exercise can boost our mood and energy. Lots of research out there about that. But this can look different and be tailored for every person. Now, for some, that might be going to the gym three or four times a week and doing a weightlifting routine. For others, that might be stretching and walking. But some kind of physical activity is important and can really affect our mental health.

As mentioned before, healthy eating. So having that conversation about what a balanced diet is, what good foods are for me to eat, and also encouraging that conversation with the dietician or their primary care. Because we don’t always specialize in those areas, where we can give general exploration about it. I, by no means would want to indicate what appropriate diet for somebody else would be. Sleep hygiene as well is something that we’re going to talk about. So promoting good sleep habits, such as maintaining a schedule and improving overall wellbeing.

The last piece, which I think is really important is that social connection. So encouraging patients to maintain supportive relationships in their life. Even if we see them weekly, we’re with them for one hour out of an entire week. So that’s four hours out of an entire month. And so we have to foster relationships outside of us. It can start with our relationship in session, but we also want to foster that outside of our relationship here too, so they have that ongoing.