Blue Monday: The Saddest Day of The Year?

We’re near Blue Monday: the 3rd or 4th Monday of January and for some, coined the “saddest day of the year.” A mathematician came up with the idea, calculating that a mix of factors (like bad weather, distance from our New Year’s resolutions, and lack of sunlight) makes this day the toughest on our mood.

For Blue Monday in 2025, I’m reflecting on change and self-esteem. How do we navigate the pressure to change, and how do our goals and friendships play into our sense of self-worth?

Self-esteem can be affected by: 

I recently attended a solstice party on the coldest night of the year, in the coldest major city in the country. My friend invited me, and though I wasn’t excited, I went. People gathered, wrote their regrets and mistakes, and burned them in a bonfire. They shared future goals and desires. The love and sense of community moved me deeply. I went inside to warm up, feeling inspired, despite also being a bit numb from the cold. Symbolic rituals like this can help improve self-esteem heading into the new year. 

New kinds of ceremonies can help mark the time of change in the season: 

  • Burning a yule log
  • Making an offering 
  • Decorating
  • Crafting
  • This year, I decided to binge-watch a few movies for New Year’s inspiration. Bridget Jones’s Diary and Waiting to Exhale have a lot in common: they both start and end on New Year’s Eve, and both feature women navigating changes in their lives. In Bridget Jones’s Diary, Bridget has big goals: lose weight, quit smoking, and find a boyfriend. By the end of the movie, she has achieved most of those goals and feels good about it. Her friends celebrate her success, and she buys a new diary to start the year fresh. 

In contrast, in Waiting to Exhale, not all goals are achieved. But the movie ends by emphasizing the importance of friendship, reminding us that it’s not just about what we accomplish, but the relationships we nurture along the way. Friendship has been studied as a buffer to support self-esteem.  

We have problems to address on an annual basis, and it’s natural to re-tune our intentions. The pain that we want alleviation from can stem from the story we tell ourselves. The story we tell ourselves can be positive and reflect important values and give us strength. The story can also be negative and flatten our perception of ourselves into “always, never, forever, not enough, and too much,” which can feel boring, bland, automatic, and binding. 

One strategy that can sometimes help deal with these negative thoughts is to separate ourselves from our problems. For example, instead of Bridget stating in her titular diary “I am a smoker,” she could try, “I’m someone with a problem with nicotine.” Journaling, reconnecting with new traditions, and exploring new hobbies can loosen up the story we tell ourselves. 

These movies show us that change isn’t always straightforward. While Bridget reaches her goals, Waiting to Exhale reminds us that friendship and support can be just as important, even if our personal goals take time to achieve.  

Our mental health is more important than whether we change or do not change this new year, and therapy can help us maintain a more positive outlook through this challenging time. 

References

  1. Benitez-Sillero, J. de D., Portela-Pino, I., Morente, Á., & Raya-González, J. (2023). Longitudinal Relationships Between Physical Fitness With Physical Self-Concept and Self-Esteem in Adolescents. Research Quarterly for Exercise and Sport, 95(1), 183–189. https://doi.org/10.1080/02701367.2023.2173134  

  2. Bleidorn, W., Kretzschmar, A., Rauthmann, J. F., Orth, U., Denissen, J. J. A., & Hopwood, C. J. (2023). Self-Esteem and Income Over Time. Psychological Science, 34(10), 1163-1172. https://doi.org/10.1177/09567976231185129

  3. Ferrel, Nena (December 19, 2023). How to Celebrate the Winter Solstice, the Shortest Day of the Year. https://www.sunset.com/lifestyle/wellness/winter-solstice-rituals-nature  

  4. Giorgio Veneziani, Chiara Ciacchella, Piergiorgio Onorati, Carlo Lai, Attachment theory 2.0: A network analysis of offline and online attachment dimensions, guilt, shame, and self-esteem and their differences between low and high internet users, Computers in Human Behavior, Volume 156, 2024,108195, ISSN 0747-5632, https://doi.org/10.1016/j.chb.2024.108195  

  5. Kołodziej-Zaleska, A., Brandt-Salmeri, A., & Ilska, M. (2024). Between the Sense of Loss and Posttraumatic Growth: The Role of Self-Esteem and Initiator Status. Family Transitions, 65(2), 99–122. https://doi.org/10.1080/28375300.2024.2313379

  6. Ogawa, Shota (October 31, 2023). Moderating effects of self-esteem instability on the association between self-esteem level and emotional reactions to receiving comfort among Japanese university students. Discover Psychology. chrome-extension://efaidnbmnnnibpcajpcglclefindmkaj/https://link.springer.com/content/pdf/10.1007/s44202-024-00149-y.pdf  

  7. Sethi, Anita (Jan 15, 2018). Blue Monday isn’t the only day depression can strike. Here’s how I cope. https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2018/jan/15/blue-monday-depression-january-mental-health  

Authored By 

Jonathan McIntosh, LPC

Jonathan McIntosh, LPC, is dedicated to providing compassionate, individualized care to clients across Illinois. With a warm and non-judgmental approach, he works with clients in individual and group therapy to address a range of concerns, including anxiety, depression, and substance use. Jonathan helps clients build self-understanding and resilience, fostering a therapeutic space where they feel supported as they navigate life’s complexities and challenges. Jonathan has a particular passion for helping clients manage issues related to ADHD, grief, and trauma/PTSD. His expertise also extends to working with the LGBTQ+ community, individuals facing military and veteran-related challenges, and those in adoption or foster care. Jonathan’s commitment to understanding and honoring each person’s unique background and experiences allows him to offer effective and empathetic support tailored to their needs.

Jonathan utilizes psychodynamic psychotherapy to help clients explore the underlying emotional roots of their issues. By facilitating deeper self-awareness, he supports clients in achieving lasting personal growth and improved well-being. Jonathan provides a safe and inclusive environment for teens, adults, and seniors, emphasizing respect and empathy in all interactions. Outside of his practice, Jonathan enjoys playing guitar and keyboard, reading, and spending time with his pets. His interests in music and literature contribute to a well-rounded approach to life and therapy.