How to Relax on Vacation When Your Trip Feels Anything But

There are lots of factors that can contribute to a vacation feeling anything but a vacation. If you go with a big group or extended family, all those dynamics and decisions can make you feel burned out. Traveling itself can be stressful, with flight delays and traffic.

For me, I usually have trouble relaxing when I feel like a trip is too jam-packed. While all of these activities are in essence extremely fun, when a lot of them are stacked together, I get tired in a hurry.

I’ve learned that “white space” is extremely important in my life as someone who grapples with mental health issues. That’s when I have unscheduled time to just be: spend time in nature, read a book, or simply meander around to my heart’s content.

White space, for me, means pulling back on the itinerary and creating moments to breathe during a vacation. I don’t put pressure on the day to squeeze in every single last activity and make peace with the fact that we might not be able to do every little thing.

That breathing room also changes how the day ends. I’ve had vacations where I walk into my hotel room, lay on the bed in my clothes that I’ve been wearing all day, and fall fast asleep. But that’s not the respite I’m looking for. I want to come back from vacation feeling as if I’ve really, truly taken a break, and feeling spent throughout the trip certainly won’t accomplish that vibe.

Also: even if I do feel stressed despite my best efforts, I’m not hard on myself. Vacations can make us feel like we should be having non-stop fun, but I put those feelings aside and try not to feel guilty. After all, feelings, and mental health, don’t take vacations, and it’s perfectly valid to feel however you feel.

Here are four habits that help me come home feeling rested.

1. Keep your bedtime routine the same.

   During a vacation, it can be tempting to throw your good habits and self-care regimen right out the window. But even if it’s late, I always strive to do every step of my bedtime routine, which gets my body ready for restorative sleep and keeps me grounded. That means not skipping my skincare products or forgoing the pre-bedtime lotion I use. In general, prioritizing sleep is a huge deal for me during vacation.

2. Include moments in nature.

   Nature has this way of bringing you back to the present moment, and it’s still the case even when you’re on an activity-filled vacay. If you’re following an itinerary, schedule a hike in a nearby state park or lounge on the beach for an extra hour, just watching the waves rolling in and out. For me, my connection to nature during a beach vacation is collecting seashells, which is one of the most peaceful things I do.

3. Work in quick breaks.

   Oftentimes, you don’t need hours upon hours to accomplish a feeling of relaxation. “Micro-breaks” throughout a busy day can do this, too. During a vacation, this can mean sitting on an amusement park bench and watching people walk by for a few minutes or ducking into a store for some air conditioning and window shopping. If the location is particularly taxing (like Disney World, even though I love it!), I like to look at a map and come up with spots where I can tuck away and breathe a bit before rejoining the crowd.

4. Practice mindfulness.

   It’s always a good idea to try to live in the moment as much as you can during a vacation, especially when you’re making memories. If I’m feeling frazzled and stressed, I often use those times as opportunities to practice mindfulness and pay more attention to the world around me: I pick out little details in the beautiful scenery, count cars, or just look up at the sky (preferably in a hammock!). And although it’s always nice to snap photos during a vacation, I try to hold back here and there so I can appreciate the moment without my phone in hand. It makes me feel a lot more laid-back—and isn’t that how we all hope to feel during a vacation?

A truly relaxing vacation, for me, isn’t about doing everything. It’s about leaving room to breathe. When I protect my white space, keep my sleep routine intact, lean on nature, take micro-breaks, and stay present, I come home feeling like I actually took a break. And on the trips when I still feel frazzled, I remind myself that’s okay too. Relaxing on vacation is less about a perfect itinerary and more about giving yourself permission to slow down.

This article reflects personal experiences and general information. It is not intended as medical advice or a substitute for professional care.