Overcoming the Fear of Flying: Tools and Techniques That Can Lead to a Calmer Journey

Even though flying is statistically safer than driving, our brains don’t always respond to logic when it comes to fear. This conflict between rational knowledge and emotional response is called “emotional recalcitrance“—when we know something is safe, but our emotions refuse to accept it. This is why someone can feel anxious about flying despite knowing that the odds of an accident are incredibly low.

Fear of flying may not always be about the flight itself. For some, anxiety stems from deeper emotional wounds. Trauma, complex trauma, and chronic stress often originate from the same source: fear. While stress and trauma can look similar, they require different treatment approaches. Psychodynamic psychotherapy can be particularly effective in addressing acute anxiety related to past experiences.

Donald Winnicott, in Fear of Breakdown, explores how individuals experience fear when faced with deep emotional stress. He suggests that this fear arises from a conflict between a person’s inner world and external reality, leading to a sense of losing control or identity. However, he also highlights that having a safe and supportive environment, such as therapy, can help individuals process their emotions and integrate their experiences for healing.

For some people, the fear of flying may be less about the flight and more about unresolved fears from the past resurfacing in moments of uncertainty. Understanding this distinction can be key to finding the right coping strategies.

One of the simplest yet most effective ways to ease anxiety while flying is through calming music. A friend of mine who struggled with flight anxiety found relief by listening to Brian Eno’s Music for Airports. Designed to create a serene atmosphere, this ambient album helped her relax and feel more at ease while traveling. Personally, I’ve also used this music during high-stress situations, like during long exams for psychotherapy credentials, and it has had a calming effect.

If music works for you, consider creating a playlist of ambient or soothing tracks to help drown out in-flight noises and create a sense of peace. Apps like Spotify or Apple Music have curated playlists designed specifically for relaxation and anxiety relief.

Technology offers another easily accessible tool for managing the fear of flying. There are several apps designed to help reduce anxiety through guided breathing exercises, cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) techniques, and real-time reassurance about flight safety. Some popular options include:

• Fear of Flying Help (SOAR) – Provides expert guidance from aviation professionals and therapists.
• Calm or Headspace – Offers meditation and mindfulness exercises to ease nervousness before and during flights.
• Turbulence Forecast – Gives real-time updates on turbulence levels to help anxious flyers know what to expect.

These digital tools can provide comfort and education, helping to shift the focus away from fear and toward relaxation.

For some, fear of flying is rooted in deeper anxieties—whether it’s a fear of losing control, past traumatic experiences, or general anxiety disorders. In these cases, therapy may be the best route. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) can be particularly effective in addressing irrational fears and changing thought patterns. Exposure therapy, where individuals gradually face their fear in controlled steps, is another method that has shown success.

While there may not be a single cure for flight anxiety, a combination of music, apps, and therapy can significantly reduce fear and make flying a more pleasant experience. If your fear of flying is severe and interferes with travel plans, seeking professional help can be a transformative step toward overcoming it.