RAIN Meditation Is My Favorite Mindfulness Tool for Dealing With Big Feelings: Here’s How to Do It

RAIN is a four-step meditation that encourages you to meet your emotions wisely with mindfulness, acceptance, curiosity, and self-compassion. Since discovering it years ago, it’s become my go-to technique for managing emotions.

RAIN was initially developed by Buddhist meditation teacher Michele McDonald and later altered and popularized by meditation teacher and psychologist Tara Brach. The name is an acronym for the four steps of this mindfulness practice: Recognize, Allow, Investigate, and Nurture.

Brach has some guided RAIN meditations available online that are great for when you want someone to walk you through the process. But it’s also simple and intuitive enough to do on your own.

Here are the four steps used in RAIN meditation:

1. Recognize

   The first step is about recognizing what’s here. Think about it like you’re noticing that an emotional guest is knocking on the door and you’re going to meet them.

   You’re not fixing anything or making it a problem, just noticing it. What are the thoughts, feelings, or sensations that are telling you something’s off? Name them. Oh, sadness is here. Or I’m having a lot of negative thoughts right now.

   Sometimes you can recognize the specific emotional experience right away (anger, anxiety, fear). Other times it’s fuzzier (I don’t feel good or I’m noticing my mind is really worried) and that’s okay too. You’re simply acknowledging and naming your experience, instead of ignoring or running away from it.

2. Allow

   This step is all about accepting what’s happening and giving the feeling permission to exist. You’re letting the visitor at your door come in, so to speak.

   Honestly, this is the step I find hardest sometimes and it’s probably the most important one. It’s helpful to remember that allowing doesn’t mean you have to like the feeling or embrace it. It just means you’re letting the emotion be there, without immediately trying to shove it away. And hey, it’s already happening so you might as well let it.

   You might say something silently like, This is here right now, or It’s okay to feel this. And if you’re noticing a lot of resistance or dislike of the emotion? You can name and allow that too.

3. Investigate

   Once you’re not actively fighting the emotion, it’s time to get curious and learn more about it. If the feeling is a visitor, this step is about sitting down for coffee and getting to know them a little.

   You can make gentle inquiries. What does this feel like in my body? What sensations am I noticing and where? What am I believing about myself or the world right now? Is there a memory this brings up for me? Don’t get too caught in analysis or finding the “right” answers. You’re just gathering data.

   Something I find really key here is following Brach’s recommendation to focus on the somatic component of what’s happening for you. Instead of thinking about the emotion or getting lost in the story of it, you get into the actual bodily experience of the feeling.

4. Nurture

   The fourth and final step is offering yourself some kind of compassion and care. This is where you might ask your guest, Can I get you anything? You look tired. Would you like a cup of tea, or perhaps a nap?

   The question I tend to use is: What do I most need right now? This might look like placing a hand on your chest and reminding yourself that you’re not broken. Or maybe it’s imagining what you’d say to a friend who felt this way and then saying that to yourself. Sometimes it’s deciding to rest or cancel a non-essential plan. The point is to respond to your pain with kindness and nourishment.

What I appreciate most about RAIN is that it’s both practical and realistic. It doesn’t ask you to get rid of your emotions or “figure them out.” It doesn’t require you to love them, either. It just offers a way to meet your unwanted emotional guests more gently by turning towards what’s happening, paying attention to your experience, and finding a little self-compassion.

I find it especially useful when I can sense there’s a big feeling under the surface that I’m avoiding, because it gives me a way to approach it and find out what’s really going on.

And the fact that it’s a lovely little acronym? Pretty convenient. Because sometimes when you’re caught up in a feeling or avoiding a feeling it’s hard to remember what to do or how to take care of yourself. You may overthink, get overwhelmed, or freak out. A simple four-step process can be a helpful roadmap to guide yourself home.

This article is for general educational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health care. References to third party individuals or content are for informational purposes only and do not constitute endorsement by LifeStance.