How to Be a Great LGBTQIA+ Ally: Support, Allyship, and Mental Health

Allyship is not just about gestures of support. It can have a significant influence on the mental health of people within the LGBTQIA+ community. A recent peer-reviewed study shows that LGBTQIA+ individuals who experience social support and acceptance through allyship and respect are less likely to struggle with anxiety, depression, and suicidality. As an ally, you play a role in reducing stigma and making your community safer and more welcoming for everyone.

To gain a better understanding of the LGBTQIA+ community, it’s important to dive into its history to provide a context of the movement that’s gained such momentum today. Understanding more about the significant events that impacted the community is a good place to start. Explore pivotal moments, including the Stonewall Riots, the first Pride beginning in the early ’70s, the debut of the Pride flag in 1978, the AIDS Memorial Quilt, and the achievement of marriage equality in 2015.

For a powerful video depiction of this history, watch #ALivingHistory, courtesy of AARP.

Even though there have been significant strides in the LGBTQIA+ movement, there are still some policies that negatively impact the community. For example, in many states there are no state laws protecting transgender people from being fired. The Human Rights Campaign is a reliable source to become aware of the current policy issues affecting LGBTQIA+ rights. Following LGBTQIA+ news sources, such as the Advocate and the HuffPost, can also be helpful. Additionally, podcasts, like Making Gay History, offer deeper insight into the issues and challenges the LGBTQIA+ community continues to face.

Another way to learn about inequality issues within the community is to listen to the concerns and struggles LGBTQIA+ individuals experience every day. Talking with a friend or a family member about their experiences, watching a documentary, or reading a book are important ways to understand the diversity of the community. Staying informed about the relevant issues affecting the community helps LGBTQIA+ allies be better advocates.

Doing the right thing isn’t always easy. But silence can do a lot of harm. Speaking out against statements and jokes that are disrespectful to LGBTQIA+ individuals is something that takes a lot of courage. Letting others know that you will not allow intolerance can be effective in changing attitudes and behaviors. Speak up if you hear someone use a slur or an insensitive comment. Encourage others to use the correct pronouns if they misgender someone. Promote diversity in the workplace. Consider these moments as a an opportunity to enlighten others. Think about how you can foster growth in others as well as yourself. Starting positive conversations about LGBTQIA+ issues is a great way to increase awareness and welcome new allies to the community.

One of the simplest and most meaningful ways to show support for the LGBTQIA+ community is to use the names and pronouns people share with you. Pronouns are not a preference or a formality. They are part of how a person tells the world who they are. When you use someone’s correct pronouns, you are telling them they are seen, respected, and safe with you. A 2018 study shows that transgender and nonbinary people whose pronouns are respected by the people around them report lower levels of depression and suicidal ideation, which makes this small habit a genuine act of mental health support.

Practicing pronoun respect is easy to build into everyday life. Introduce yourself with your own pronouns to signal that you are a safe person to share with. If you are unsure of someone’s pronouns, it is okay to ask politely or simply use their name. And if you slip up, correct yourself briefly and move on without over-apologizing, which can put the burden of comfort back on the other person. Consistency matters more than perfection, and every correct usage reinforces that the people in your life can be themselves around you.

Whether it’s by getting involved in parades, putting out town and lawn signs, or attending events for the LGBTQIA+ community, simply being present or volunteering your time is a great way to be an ally for the community. Donations are another meaningful way to ensure LGBTQIA+ organizations can continue their important missions.

Human Rights Campaign: The HRC is the largest political organization that strives to end discrimination against LGBTQIA+ people and works to achieve fundamental fairness and equality for all.

PFLAG: Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays is the first and largest organization for uniting parents, families, and allies with people who are lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer.

GLSEN: The Gay, Lesbian, and Straight Education Network works to create safe and affirming schools for all, regardless of sexual orientation, gender identity, or gender expression.

The Trevor Project: Provides crisis intervention and suicide prevention services to LGBTQIA+ young people aged 25 and younger.

SAGE: SAGE is a national organization that offers supportive services and consumer resources to LGBTQIA+ elders and their caregivers.

The National Queer and Trans Therapists of Color Network: The NQTTCN is a justice organization that works to transform mental health for queer and trans people of color. They provide a community for resource sharing, connection, and learning among queer and trans people of color committed to improving mental health for their communities.

It Gets Better Project: The It Gets Better Project is an organization dedicated to uplifting, empowering, and connecting LGBTQIA+ youth across the world. Its goal is to help youth understand that ‘although growing up isn’t easy, no one has to do it alone.’

LifeStance is dedicated to providing LGBTQIA+ affirming mental health care in a supportive and inclusive environment. Our therapists and psychiatric providers are experienced in working with LGBTQIA+ individuals and can offer support for issues of identity, coming out, transition, and emotional wellness. If you are seeking compassionate, judgment-free care, find an LGBTQIA+ affirming provider at LifeStance today.