Key Takeaways Key Takeaways

  • Studies show that virtual couples therapy can improve relationship satisfaction and mental health as effectively as in-person sessions, providing a valid alternative, especially for those with limited access to traditional therapy.

  • Virtual therapy offers flexibility, particularly for individuals with disabilities or time constraints, and provides real-time insights into a couple’s home dynamics. However, uncontrolled environments can introduce challenges like distractions and avoidance behaviors.

  • The suitability of virtual vs. in-person therapy depends on the couple’s specific needs. Virtual therapy works well for privacy-conscious couples or those with less therapy engagement, while in-person therapy may be more effective for addressing severe issues or building emotional connections.

Is Online Couples Therapy as Effective as In-Person?

Virtual couples therapy and online marriage counseling, which became more common during the COVID-19 pandemic alongside the rise of telehealth, are now mainstream options for couples seeking guidance and support. Many wonder if online couples therapy can be as effective as traditional, in-person sessions.

Numerous studies have shown that online therapy is just as effective as in-person therapy for various mental health concerns, but few studies have focused specifically on couples therapy. The few research that exists shows interesting findings. 

One study found virtual couples therapy can improve relationship satisfaction, mental health, and other outcomes just as well as face-to-face sessions. The quality of the therapeutic relationship also improved over time in both formats. This suggests that virtual couples therapy is a valid and effective alternative, particularly for those with limited access to traditional therapy.

We asked two mental health care experts who specialize in couples therapy whether they have seen any significant differences between their online and in-person sessions and if there are circumstances in which online therapy can be more beneficial than in-person therapy.

According to Jennifer Mercer, MA, LPC, MCC, a therapist who treats couples both in-person and online in the state of Michigan, the therapeutic environment in virtual sessions is less controlled. For example, she often encounters avoidant behaviors, such as clients walking away from the screen, trying to participate while driving, or looking at their phones. While these behaviors may seem challenging, they provide valuable insight into the barriers that prevent couples from connecting. They reveal how much time, attention, and priority someone is truly giving to their relationship, allowing for real-time psychoeducation and skill-building as she addresses these behaviors as they happen.

Dr. LaVonya Bennett, PhD, a psychologist who provides couples therapy in Texas, states that she has not observed significant differences between conducting couples therapy virtually and in person. However, she notes that for some couples, in-person therapy may be more helpful for developing emotional connections that facilitate problem-solving, therapy engagement, and desired outcomes.

What Types of Couples Issues Are Better Addressed Online vs. In-Person?

According to Mercer, virtual therapy can work well for couples dealing with specific challenges, particularly when one partner is less committed to the idea of therapy. She noted that people often feel more comfortable at home and less vulnerable during online sessions. However, she also cautioned that if others are present in the home during therapy, it can undermine the therapeutic process. Additionally, Mercer mentioned that virtual sessions are ideal for individuals with disabilities, chronic pain, transportation challenges, or limited time. The only situation where Mercer would recommend in-person sessions over virtual ones is when there are concerns about domestic abuse, to ensure the safety of everyone involved.

Dr. Bennett emphasized that the suitability of virtual versus in-person therapy depends on the couple’s unique needs. She pointed out that some issues, such as intimacy struggles or working with a partner diagnosed with PTSD, can be addressed in either modality depending on the couple’s engagement. However, for very severe issues, she recommends starting with in-person sessions to build a strong therapeutic foundation.

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Which Types of Couples Are Better Suited for Virtual Couples Therapy?

Mercer highlighted that couples who value their privacy or are concerned about running into someone they know may prefer virtual sessions. She also observed that virtual therapy can be beneficial for couples where one partner feels triggered by a perceived imbalance of power, as online therapy removes any physical seating arrangements that could unintentionally reinforce this dynamic.

Dr. Bennett noted that couples who are highly motivated tend to thrive in virtual settings. She suggested that couples in which one or both partners are less motivated or engaged in the therapy process might find in-person sessions more beneficial.

Jennifer Mercer shared a compelling example of a couple who sought therapy after their relationship was severely impacted by infidelity, with most sessions conducted online. The breach of trust left them feeling disconnected and struggling to move forward. During the online couples therapy sessions, Mercer worked with them to identify the root causes of their mistrust and began rebuilding the essential components of trust. One of the unique advantages of conducting the sessions online was the opportunity to observe the couple in their home environment, which provided deeper insight into their everyday interactions.

For instance, one partner often showed up late to the sessions, while the other would immediately jump up and run to the kitchen—a behavior that might have gone unnoticed in a traditional office setting. Through these observations, Mercer uncovered patterns of avoidant behavior that contributed to the couple’s disconnect. One partner had been previously diagnosed with ADHD, but during therapy, Mercer noticed signs of ADHD in the other partner as well. This discovery led that partner to seek services from a psychiatrist, revealing that executive functioning issues were at the core of some of their communication problems.

As they processed unresolved feelings related to the infidelity and addressed the newly identified medical concerns, the couple began to reestablish trust. The virtual format not only allowed for these real-time observations but also enabled the couple to develop stronger interpersonal communication and distress tolerance skills. Over time, they were able to heal their relationship and rebuild a stronger, healthier bond.

Both Jennifer Mercer and Dr. LaVonya Bennett agree that online and in-person couples therapy each have their merits, with effectiveness largely depending on the couple’s unique circumstances and engagement. Virtual therapy offers flexibility and insights into real-time behaviors, while in-person sessions may foster stronger emotional connections for some.

Many of their clients begin with in-person sessions and transition to online couples therapy once they are comfortable with the therapeutic process. As research continues to show the equal efficacy of both modalities, couples can feel confident knowing they have flexible options to support them in navigating their relationship challenges, regardless of the format they choose. If you or your partner think you may benefit from couples therapy, you can find a therapist specializing in couples therapy using our provider directory. 

References

  1. Ashley B. Batastini, Peter Paprzycki, Ashley C.T. Jones, Nina MacLean, Are videoconferenced mental and behavioral health services just as good as in-person? A meta-analysis of a fast-growing practice, Clinical Psychology Review, Volume 83, 2021, 101944, ISSN 0272-7358, https://doi.org/10.1016/j.cpr.2020.101944. (https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S027273582030132X)

  2. Kysely A, Bishop B, Kane RT, McDevitt M, De Palma M, Rooney R. Couples Therapy Delivered Through Videoconferencing: Effects on Relationship Outcomes, Mental Health and the Therapeutic Alliance. Front Psychol. 2022 Feb 4;12:773030. doi: 10.3389/fpsyg.2021.773030. PMID: 35185681; PMCID: PMC8855148.

Authored By 

LifeStance Health

LifeStance is a mental healthcare company focused on providing evidence-based, medically driven treatment services for children, adolescents, and adults.

Contributed By

Jennifer Mercer, MA, LPC, MCC

I have been providing individual, family and couples counseling for over 10 years. Specializing in Relationship Issues, Divorce/Marital Issues, Polyamorous Couples, Family Issues/Blended Families, Life Transitions, Anxiety Disorders, Depression, Stress Management, Anger Management, ADD/ADHD, Grief/Bereavement, Oppositional Defiant/Behavioral Challenges and Workplace Issues. It’s an honor to help you individually in reaching your personal goals and/or as a family/couple in strengthening the foundation of your family. I look forward to working with you and assisting you in being your best self while respecting your personal values and beliefs.

I received my undergraduate degree at Michigan State University and my graduate degree at Oakland University receiving my masters in Counseling. I am a fully Licensed Professional Counselor. Previous employment with Ascension Providence Hospital ( ie: Psychological Assessments, Inpatient Mental Health, Partial Program and over 50 hours of DBT training) and Holy Cross Services providing individual, family and couples counseling.

I incorporate psychodynamic therapy, cognitive behavioral skills, solution focused skills and DBT skill work to identify barriers to communicating/connecting. Identifying a need for additional support is a strength and a great first step.

Currently, seeing individuals, adolescence (15+) and couples remotely and in the office on Tuesdays/Thursdays

I have been providing individual, family and couples counseling for over 10 years. Specializing in Relationship Issues, Divorce/Marital Issues, Polyamorous Couples, Family Issues/Blended Families, Life Transitions, Anxiety Disorders, Depression, Stress Management, Anger Management, ADD/ADHD, Grief/Bereavement, Oppositional Defiant/Behavioral Challenges and Workplace Issues. It’s an honor to help you individually in reaching your personal goals and/or as a family/couple in strengthening the foundation of your family. I look forward to working with you and assisting you in being your best self while respecting your personal values and beliefs.

I received my undergraduate degree at Michigan State University and my graduate degree at Oakland University receiving my masters in Counseling. I am a fully Licensed Professional Counselor. Previous employment with Ascension Providence Hospital ( ie: Psychological Assessments, Inpatient Mental Health, Partial Program and over 50 hours of DBT training) and Holy Cross Services providing individual, family and couples counseling.

I incorporate psychodynamic therapy, cognitive behavioral skills, solution focused skills and DBT skill work to identify barriers to communicating/connecting. Identifying a need for additional support is a strength and a great first step.

Currently, seeing individuals, adolescence (15+) and couples remotely and in the office on Tuesdays/Thursdays

Dr. LaVonya Bennett, PhD

Dr. LaVonya Bennett, PhD. Dr. LaVonya Bennett is a licensed Counseling Psychologist and has 8 years of experience. Her areas of expertise include anxiety, PTSD/trauma, racial trauma, LGBTQ+ affirmative therapy, chronic stress, depression, relationship issues, confidence issues, chronic pain, and adjustment to medical conditions/diagnoses. Dr. Bennett’s counseling style is very collaborative, and she is often described by her clients as supportive, caring, and motivating with an appropriate dose of challenge. The evidence-based treatments she offers prioritize culturally informed and strength-based approaches to tailor treatment to the client’s needs and lived experiences. Dr. Bennett is here to help you sort through the difficult struggles you may face and offer you a safe place to be open and honest without negative judgment.

Dr. Bennett also offers couples therapy. She approaches couples therapy with an unbiased, collaborative fashion to help couples work through challenges, rekindle their spark, sift through challenging decision making, and/or navigate the impact a person’s PTSD diagnosis can have on the relationship. She uses Emotion Focused Couples Therapy (EFT), based on attachment theory science, which is one of the most effective low-relapse couple therapy approaches. Outside of work, Dr. Bennett enjoys traveling, long naps, calligraphy and arts, walking in the park, relaxing by the beach, and spending time with family and loved ones.