Is Online Couples Therapy as Effective as In-Person?

According to Mercer, virtual therapy can work well for couples dealing with specific challenges, particularly when one partner is less committed to the idea of therapy. She noted that people often feel more comfortable at home and less vulnerable during online sessions. However, she also cautioned that if others are present in the home during therapy, it can undermine the therapeutic process. Additionally, Mercer mentioned that virtual sessions are ideal for individuals with disabilities, chronic pain, transportation challenges, or limited time. The only situation where Mercer would recommend in-person sessions over virtual ones is when there are concerns about domestic abuse, to ensure the safety of everyone involved.

Dr. Bennett emphasized that the suitability of virtual versus in-person therapy depends on the couple’s unique needs. She pointed out that some issues, such as intimacy struggles or working with a partner diagnosed with PTSD, can be addressed in either modality depending on the couple’s engagement. However, for very severe issues, she recommends starting with in-person sessions to build a strong therapeutic foundation.

Mercer highlighted that couples who value their privacy or are concerned about running into someone they know may prefer virtual sessions. She also observed that virtual therapy can be beneficial for couples where one partner feels triggered by a perceived imbalance of power, as online therapy removes any physical seating arrangements that could unintentionally reinforce this dynamic.

Dr. Bennett noted that couples who are highly motivated tend to thrive in virtual settings. She suggested that couples in which one or both partners are less motivated or engaged in the therapy process might find in-person sessions more beneficial.

Jennifer Mercer shared a compelling example of a couple who sought therapy after their relationship was severely impacted by infidelity, with most sessions conducted online. The breach of trust left them feeling disconnected and struggling to move forward. During the online couples therapy sessions, Mercer worked with them to identify the root causes of their mistrust and began rebuilding the essential components of trust. One of the unique advantages of conducting the sessions online was the opportunity to observe the couple in their home environment, which provided deeper insight into their everyday interactions.

For instance, one partner often showed up late to the sessions, while the other would immediately jump up and run to the kitchen—a behavior that might have gone unnoticed in a traditional office setting. Through these observations, Mercer uncovered patterns of avoidant behavior that contributed to the couple’s disconnect. One partner had been previously diagnosed with ADHD, but during therapy, Mercer noticed signs of ADHD in the other partner as well. This discovery led that partner to seek services from a psychiatrist, revealing that executive functioning issues were at the core of some of their communication problems.

As they processed unresolved feelings related to the infidelity and addressed the newly identified medical concerns, the couple began to reestablish trust. The virtual format not only allowed for these real-time observations but also enabled the couple to develop stronger interpersonal communication and distress tolerance skills. Over time, they were able to heal their relationship and rebuild a stronger, healthier bond.

Both Jennifer Mercer and Dr. LaVonya Bennett agree that online and in-person couples therapy each have their merits, with effectiveness largely depending on the couple’s unique circumstances and engagement. Virtual therapy offers flexibility and insights into real-time behaviors, while in-person sessions may foster stronger emotional connections for some.

Many of their clients begin with in-person sessions and transition to online couples therapy once they are comfortable with the therapeutic process. As research continues to show the equal efficacy of both modalities, couples can feel confident knowing they have flexible options to support them in navigating their relationship challenges, regardless of the format they choose. If you or your partner think you may benefit from couples therapy, you can find a therapist specializing in couples therapy using our provider directory.