Grief Counseling

Elisabeth Kubler-Ross’s groundbreaking book “On Death and Dying” introduced the world to the five stages of grief, a concept that became a cornerstone of Grief Counseling. Her work shed light on the emotional journey of individuals facing terminal illness and death. David Kessler later expanded upon this framework by adding two additional stages to create a more intricate model of the grieving process. These books have collectively become a compass for today’s Grief Counseling, offering a deep understanding of the multifaceted nature of grief. They continue to shape modern Grief Counseling practices, helping professionals provide compassionate and effective support to those navigating the tumultuous path of loss.

The five stages of grief, as originally proposed by Kubler-Ross, are:

Denial: In the initial shock of loss, it’s common for individuals to deny the reality of what has happened, as a defense mechanism against overwhelming emotions.

Anger: As denial fades, the pain emerges, often leading to anger. People may feel anger towards themselves, the deceased, or even the circumstances that led to the loss.

Bargaining: In this stage, individuals may attempt to make deals with a higher power or express a desire to change the circumstances that led to the loss. It’s an attempt to regain some control.

Depression: This stage is marked by a profound sense of sadness, hopelessness, and an overwhelming feeling of the weight of the loss. It’s an integral part of the grieving process.

Acceptance: In this final stage, individuals come to terms with the reality of the loss. It doesn’t mean they are necessarily “okay” with it, but they find a way to live with it and move forward.

In contrast, the seven-stage model by David Kessler, which includes the stages of shock, guilt, and testing, provides a more nuanced view of the grieving process.

The five and seven stages of grief models share significant similarities, with shock and guilt being the primary points of distinction. Both models encompass denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance as common elements of the grief process. In the seven-stage model, the addition of guilt reflects the emotional turmoil associated with regrets or actions related to the loss. Shock, a shared stage in both models, represents the initial state of disbelief and numbness. While the fundamental understanding of grief remains consistent, these models differ in their depth and complexity, acknowledging the unique and multifaceted nature of individual grief experiences.

It is important to keep in mind that these stages are not linear, and one may move through the various stages several times, throughout the grieving process.

Just as individuals experience grief in diverse ways, there are numerous techniques available for addressing our grief. Grief therapy encompasses a range of methods tailored to different circumstances. The most suitable therapeutic approach depends on various factors, including whether someone is grappling with persistent, enduring grief, the nature and circumstances of the loss (i.e. was it expected, was the death via suicide, sudden or violent accident, or after a long illness).

In some instances, a combination of grief therapy strategies may yield more effective results. Some of the available grief therapy interventions comprise:

1. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and specifically Trauma Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy involve acquiring the skills to recognize negative thought patterns and then actively working to alter them. It operates on the fundamental premise that by learning to cope with negative thoughts and behaviors, individuals can alleviate their symptoms and lead healthier, more productive lives day by day. For those seeking an action-oriented approach, therapists trained in CBT can be particularly beneficial. Studies consistently highlight CBT’s efficacy, often surpassing other therapeutic methods.
2. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) guides individuals to accept negative emotions and challenging situations while developing constructive coping mechanisms. It places a strong emphasis on enhancing psychological flexibility, enabling individuals to embrace their emotions rather than trying to escape, suppress, or avoid them. Psychological flexibility allows individuals to be fully present in their lives. ACT employs mindfulness techniques to help individuals process their grief and embrace their losses. This therapy is suitable for addressing prolonged or complex grief extending over a year or more after a loss. ACT facilitates emotional reprocessing of the loss and addresses any emotions that have been avoided.
3. Group Therapy for grief involves small gatherings of individuals who come together to share their thoughts and feelings with others who are also experiencing grief. These groups often consist of people who have endured similar experiences. Support groups provide a safe and supportive environment where individuals can openly share and heal in confidence and love.
4. Art Therapy and Music Therapy employ creativity as a means to promote healing and facilitate the grieving process. It embraces the belief that artistic and creative self-expression can have a therapeutic impact. Activities like painting, drawing, singing, playing instruments, coloring, collage-making, and sculpture are commonly integrated into art therapy sessions.
5. Play Therapy harnesses imaginative and other forms of play to aid children in processing their grief. It offers children a secure space to express their emotions while equipping them with tools for emotional self-regulation. This approach is particularly beneficial for children who may struggle to verbalize their feelings and experiences, especially following a significant loss. Providing them with an outlet for self-expression can greatly assist in their journey of grief recovery.

The most important component to any type of grief therapy is that the person experiencing grief feels seen and heard. Often in the real world, the bereaved is not encouraged to express their feelings of sadness over the loss, and is told to, “get over it,” or to “move on.” Therapy may be the only environment in which the bereaved person may feel safe to express their full range of emotions and not feel judged or discouraged from expressing difficult and “scary” emotions.

At LifeStance Health we offer a variety of psychotherapy options to help with grief. Our therapists who specialize in Grief Counseling offer in-person and remote appointments. To find a therapist near you who specializes in Grief Counseling treatment, browse LifeStance therapist directory by applying the “Grief” selection in the “Treatment Area” drop down box.

Grief support groups are gatherings of individuals who have experienced the loss of a loved one and come together to share their experiences, emotions, and coping strategies. These groups provide a safe and empathetic environment where participants can discuss their grief openly, receive emotional support, and connect with others who are facing similar challenges.

While typically grief support groups are led by trained counselors, therapists, or facilitators who are mental health professionals, there are also community-based or peer-led support groups that provide valuable assistance to those experiencing grief.

Community-run grief support groups often consist of individuals who have personally experienced loss and are motivated to create a safe and empathetic space for others going through a similar journey. While they may not have formal mental health training, these facilitators can offer genuine empathy, shared experiences, and a strong sense of community.

However, it’s important to consider some key factors:

• Qualifications: Peer-led groups may lack professional expertise, so individuals with complex or severe mental health needs may benefit more from groups led by mental health professionals.
• Structure: The structure and effectiveness of community-led groups can vary widely, so it’s essential to assess if a specific group aligns with your needs and comfort level.
• Additional Resources: Community groups might not provide access to mental health services or crisis intervention, which could be necessary in certain situations.

Mental health professionals, such as therapists or counselors, are able to provide specialized training and clinical expertise. They create a structured and safe therapeutic environment where participants can explore their grief with professional guidance and therapy.

Group Therapy sessions offer a safe space for emotional expression and the opportunity to share one’s grief story. This can be a powerful and cathartic experience, enabling individuals to process their emotions and gain validation and support from others who understand their pain. The group dynamic encourages personal growth and healing through peer encouragement and accountability. Ultimately, grief counseling in a group setting not only offers emotional support but also fosters resilience and a sense of community, making it a valuable and effective approach for many individuals dealing with grief. It can help individuals who are experiencing grief to feel less alone in their grieving process, and validate their experiences, while also encouraging community engagement, as they help each other to find hope and healing.

If you are looking for a grief support group near you, contact one of our mental health clinic offices close to you and they will connect you with a therapist that provides grief counseling in group settings. Some of our Grief Counseling groups take place online as well.