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Surviving Valentine’s Day

By LifeStance Health on February 11, 2022

Valentine’s Day is meant to be all about love and feeling happy. Often though, February 14th is anything but that!

Whether you are single and tired of hearing about everyone else’s romantic journey; are a parent worn-out by life and can’t possibly enjoy a romantic evening with your spouse, or you and your partner are experiencing conflict that just won’t go away and you aren’t sure if your relationship will survive, we understand!

Here are some tips we’ve found to help you make the most of Valentine’s Day!

1. Set helpful expectations. The Hallmark movie version of two people perfectly meeting each other’s needs is not real!  When we believe this incorrect fantasy, then normal relationship ups & downs feel like a failure. Let go of what Valentine’s Day is “supposed” to be and instead, talk with your spouse/significant other to determine what would make the day meaningful to both of you.

2. If you are single, do something that expresses love and appreciation for yourself. Don’t wait for others to give you compassion, gratitude or pleasant experiences. Think of what would bring you happiness and then just do it!

3. If you feel particularly lonely or unloved, write a gratitude list. Getting out of your head on Valentine’s Day is vital when you feel constantly reminded that you are alone.

4. If you are having conflict with your romantic partner, write a letter of gratitude to them. This helps you focus upon your significant other’s strengths and reminds you of why you fell in love in the first place.

5Improve your relationship with yourself. Whether you are single or have a significant other, take time to focus on your own mental health and ways to improve yourself. Try out a new app that helps you meditate, find a book that helps build your confidence or learn new ways to practice mindfulness. This is also a great way to help you fall in love with yourself.   

6. Reach out to others. Surrounding yourself with those that love you can also help you feel less alone. Spend time with your friends/loved ones by having a movie or game night or do whatever you find fun and enjoyable.  When you’re feeling disconnected, the best thing to do is connect yourself with others. 

7.Volunteer! It feels good to help others so consider volunteering. It could be at a local food bank or an animal shelter but no matter where you choose to do it, volunteering is a great way to give back to your community and what a wonderful way to celebrate Valentine’s Day. 

8. Discover your Love Language. Your love language is the various ways you give and receive love and understanding this can help you feel more loved and appreciated by others. Knowing your love language can also help you connect deeper to the significant ones in your life. If partnered, maybe you both learn about each other’s love languages.  Take the Love Language quiz:  The Love Language™ Quiz (5lovelanguages.com) 

9. Remember your relationship status does not determine your worth. If you are single, this does not represent the totality of who you are as a person.  There is so much more to you than being single and this is crucial to understanding your own worth. You are a complex and an amazing individual who should not allow yourself to be confined to a label.